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The Mercenary

 

You may despise me with disgust for the arms I bear and the wars I wage,
For the payment that I earn for the killings and the rage.
I carry anger and hate of those who did me wrong,
I was beaten and abused and suffered until I was strong.

Then with hardened heart I told the world that vengeance I would take,
I left a river of pain and blood flowing in my wake.
I cannot sleep from the nightmares and the memories of it all,
The screams of death I cannot stop and the suffering that I caused I cannot stall.

To the cult of violence, to the gun from childhood I am born and truly bred.
There is nothing left for me to do but end the pain and kill myself instead.
Down the road of violence, I have boldly marched and walked,
Now I cry in sorrow and for forgiveness I have begged and sought,
What hope is there for one so bad as I ,
No peace or sleep, to end the greatest lie,
That from the childhood anger, hatred and abuse
Violence and revenge is no answer, for my evil deeds I have no excuse,
Rightly, I will end up swinging from a noose.

Yet death for me is sweet relief, for love I never knew,
To escape the empty childhood and the pain, what’s more is that its true.

Shay Cullen